Anger management: Sporkage December 22, 2007Posted by Teen Atheist in family, rants, teen angst.
Tags: acceptance, atheism, Christmas, family, religion
I haven’t talked to
that judgmental, self-absorbed bitch Mother Dearest since last Monday’s argument, and with every day that passes, I just get more and more upset about what a total asshole she’s been.
(I’m sorry, Mom. I know I shouldn’t talk this way since you pay for all my shit, but I’m angry, and when I’m angry I get irrational.)
‘Cause, really. She’s actually talking about me behind my back now. I don’t usually eat dinner, so at one of these dinners I’m within hearing range (but not in anyone’s line of sight) and I hear her whine “She’s so disrespectful and ungrateful” to my father, who’s all “I don’t want to hear it”/ “This is between you and her, keep me out of it.” Classy, Mother Dearest. Really classy.
So I figure, if she’s doing it, I might as well continue the Mom sporkage on this blog, which by the way, is the only venue where I talk about her. My friends, save for Tyler, have no idea that I hate my family this much.
The nearer Christmas Eve looms, the more upset and restless I get about the shitty Christmas that she’s forced me into. What’s worse, spending Christmas alone or spending it with a bunch of people you hate, two of whom you’re not on speaking terms with? This has “Worst Christmas Ever” written all over it.
Sure, I could take the easy way out and offer an empty apology to her so we can at least have a Christmas that looks okay, but I’m sick of getting bent over and fucked in the ass here. I’ll tell you why I won’t apologize: BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. What do I say, “Sorry for being myself? Sorry for sticking to my convictions?”
Mother Dearest is so self-absorbed that she thinks all of the major decisions I’ve made are centered on her. She told me that she thought I became an atheist just to piss her off, and she thought that I chose Dream College over Smarty-Pants College because it would directly disobey her wishes. And now she thinks that I wanted to spend Christmas away from the family just to spite her. Not only is that theory incredibly narcissistic, but it’s also a huge insult to my intelligence and character. So, no, Mother Dearest, I’m not doing it to spite you, because you’re hardly ever a factor in my personal decisions. I wanted to spend Christmas at a hotel because a) I assumed that you were kicking me out of Christmas, and b) I’d rather be happy alone than miserable with my family, especially on Christmas Eve.
During the argument, she explained that she wasn’t kicking me out of Christmas, she was just trying to tell me that they weren’t going to give me any gift. (And let’s face it, she’s only doing this so she can buy that motherfucking digital camera.)
Mother: “I just feel that gift-giving isn’t a tradition that atheists follow.”
TA (snickering): “Why, because it’s written in the Bible somewhere that Baby Jesus wants you to buy each other Nintendo Wiis to celebrate his birthday?”
Mother: “No, but giving each other presents is a way to celebrate our Savior’s birth, and clearly you don’t believe in Him, so you’re not getting one.”
It’s not that I’m bitter about not getting a gift, since I got a good amount of money for my birthday, but who wants to spend Christmas with someone like her?
I apologize if it’s been nothing but ranty-ness so far, but I’m extremely resentful and I’m venting here. Moving on, here are the various arguments for Christianity that she made in her argument, which I will proceed to spork:
1. “We’re your parents. It is our responsibility as Christians to try to steer you back in the right direction.”
Nice. Hide your discrimination behind a false sense of duty. It’s your responsibility as MY PARENTS to be open and supportive, but naaah, the Catholic dogma trumps any possibility of a healthy relationship between us.
2. “How can you be so sure that Jesus doesn’t exist when you know so little about the faith?”
Hmm, I have such a limited knowledge of the Harry Potter universe…sweet Jesus, I guess this means that Hogwarts is real! I’ve got to head to Platform 9 3/4 and enroll today, I’m craving some of those chocolate frog things.
3. “How can you get through the hardships without faith in something greater than all of us?”
The months following my outing as an atheist to the family have been the toughest four months of my life, but guess what? I’m still standing. Because I’m a strong person, and I believe in myself and my ability to overcome the difficulties I face. And in particularly weak moments, I turn to people like Tyler, who, unlike you, are supportive instead of judgmental.
4. “Then how do you explain the miraculous occurrences that happen every once in a while? I was supposed to marry a rich doctor, but then I met your father. I believe it was God’s Hand that brought us together.”
One word: Coincidence. And Rudge from The History Boys said it best: “It’s just one fucking thing after another.”
This is the first time in my life that thinking of Christmas actually makes me depressed instead of happy. Some of you suggested running away, since I’m now 18 and all, and I’m seriously thinking about it now. It would probably be the mentally healthy thing to do, anyway. The only time I’m ever truly happy is when they’re not in the house, and I’m all by myself; I actually yell “Shit!” and get generally pissed off whenever they come home. These feelings can’t possibly be normal.