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Chapter II December 5, 2009

Posted by Teen Atheist in family, friends, school.

Hello, world! Wow, it’s almost been a year since I closed this blog. I’m writing this partly to see who would still notice anything new on a blog that’s been dead for a year (reveal yourselves, lurkers!), and partly because hey, I’m in a whole new chapter of my life now, and I actually have things to say about it this time.

Property on the internets

The teenatheist.com address is dead now, so we’re back to teenatheist.wordpress.com. I had a falling-out with the dude who paid for the domain, plus there’s no point in paying for a dead blog.

My identity

I used to say that I wouldn’t mind if people figured out where I’m from and what my real name is, but honestly? It annoys the fuck out of me. Like, a couple of guys found me on a social networking site within a month of this blog’s inception, and there was this dude who made really irritating “I know who you are” comments on this blog several months ago, and emailed me asking for my real name and shit. Guys, sometimes people want to stay anonymous for a reason.

And why is it important, anyway? I always wanted the focus to be on what went on in my life, not what my name is, where I live or what I look like.

Don’t try to force it out of me — I actually just give it away if I like/trust you enough. For instance, I still stay in touch with Holy Prepuce via chat and email, and I ask him for advice about my real-world issues. And a dude I went to high school with started reading and commenting, and I talked to him on chat with my IRL handle and I was like, “You know Teen Atheist? You’re talking to her.” Haha.

Commercial: Kris Allen

If you like me, you’ll check out Kris Allen‘s album! He’s the dude that won American Idol this year, but he is way fucking cool, makes awesome, mellow, acoustic pop-rock stuff, and he did this kick-ass mash-up of “Falling Slowly” from Once and U2’s “With or Without You,” that I have been listening to for days on end. His album is my favorite album of any Idol alum, ever. My favorite song on the album is “Bring It Back.”


Should I get a Twitter? I could, if there are enough of you out there whom I could talk to. Give me your Twitter links!

[Obligatory fundie rant goes here]

One time, I Googled myself and found this Christian site where they featured my blog and were like, “Everybody, please pray for this girl so that she becomes enlighted by God” or some shit. Haha. Keep praying, dudes. The only god I worship is Bjork.

The Workplace

I quit my job in February of 2009. I got sick of it — I was one of the best salespeople on the team, but apparently our manager has never heard of that story about how you’re not supposed to fucking kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, you moron, that’s not how it works. (Read: I was overworked and underpaid, and double-overworked because they knew I was good.)

There are two more characters I have stories about, though. First is Eddie, this guy who joined the company a little after I ended the blog. We hit it off and since we lived near each other, he would drive me to and from work. I always thought of him as a really good friend, but we did have weird moments of sexual tension sometimes. But he was engaged, and I kind of lost interest in him early on, anyway.

Two weird stories involving Eddie:

1) One time, he asked if I wanted to “hang out” (intentionally vague). I said yes, he picked me up and it turned out he and his best friend were taking me to a bar. He paid for my drinks, at least. He kept offering me more booze, but I gave a firm no after the second pina colada, and then they whispered to each other and decided to take me home instead. No idea what that was about. Upon consulting with a high school friend, I was informed: “Dude, he was trying to get you drunk and fuck you.” I am quite clueless, sometimes.

2) A few months after I quit, Eddie started texting me, first asking if I was single, and then asking if he could take me out to dinner. I didn’t understand, because I’m pretty sure he knew that I knew he was engaged. But I was too much of a pussy to say no, so for two weeks straight I just kept saying that I was sick. I felt bad about it, because I really, really like him as a friend, and I still miss him to this day. But I don’t want it to be one of those things where I show up hoping for some nice conversation and by the end of the night I’m trying to figure out how to politely say “please stop putting your hand up my skirt.”

(Side note: I haven’t gotten any in a while, and if I don’t soon I might actually take him up on his offer. But he’s engaaaaged, TA. Control!)

The other guy I’ll tell you about is Lyle. Lyle isn’t a knockout at first glance, but he’s pretty cute if you look really really hard, and is kind of a paragon of perfection for me: 23, never had a girlfriend (read: not a chauvinistic horndog like 96% of the dudes in my country, and it’s not like he didn’t have opportunities — I wasn’t the only girl who dug him, but his friends say he’s cripplingly shy around women), well-off, nerdy (I’m a sucker for scrawny, effete, dorktastic types), humble, sweet, very fluent in English, can sing and play guitar, mmm.

Hilariously, though, I have never even been formally introduced to this dude, and have only talked to him a few times, so I was stuck with the conundrum of “Can you like someone for his inner beauty when you’ve never really met?” Because it’s not like I fell for him because of his looks.

But, ever heard of this thing called mamihlapinatapai? It’s when two people look at each other and want the same thing, but they’re both too afraid to make a move. Yeah, I think Lyle and I had that? Because I’d stare at him but end up catching him staring at me first, and I’d look away immediately because I’m a wimp of failcat proportions. But I can safely say that I’ve never had anyone look at me like that before.

Another funny thing is that we always talked about each other rather than to each other. I learned of this really late in the game — literally a week before I left the company — but my supervisor said he would ask her about me sometimes. EEEEEE.

But I just waved off all of these signs because I was going through a huge He’s Just Not That Into You phase, and I’m typically dense about men, anyway. Like, I didn’t figure this shit out until six months after I quit, when I told this to a new friend, Gloria, and she was like, “You moron, you should’ve jumped him while you had the chance” and I was like, “OH, FUUUUUU—.”

In the end, I think Lyle really wasn’t that into me. I’ve been told that if the guy doesn’t have the balls to ask you out, he’s not worth it, anyway. It just sucks that it’s been almost a year since I last saw Lyle and I still get heartclenchy when I think about him. Gah. Go away, feelings.

I have his number (it was in a company directory). I’d never use it, but I sometimes wish he would text out of the blue. Hi, you don’t know me but —


“Pass out at three, wake up at ten, go out to eat, then do it again…”

Unfortunately for me, my college life is NOTHING like that. Well, not unfortunately, because even though life right now is completely boring to the outside eye, I’m actually genuinely happy. I have party girl friends, and through conversations with them, I’ve realized that while partying is fun sometimes, I’m just not that kind of girl, and it’s okay. I think it just means that I’m too smart to get shitfaced. I don’t really like the taste of alcohol, and I have way too many secrets to allow myself to get hammered. And my friends have dudes try to rape them while they’re drunk on a weekly basis, so yeah, I don’t think I’m missing out on much.

My boring life? Consists of me studying a lot and having boring (awesome) friends and chatting with Holy Prepuce in English class. Hee, that was fun. They forced us to watch The 6th Day (that Schwarzenegger flick about cloning), which was like pulling teeth, although this Rod Rowland dude is hot. After the movie, we discussed cloning, and since I go to a Catholic university (not the one I wanted, not the one my parents wanted — the other one), the debate ended with my professor concluding, “Clones have no souls, therefore cloning is bad, the end.” Bah.

I’m also forced to take four Theology classes, FML. Last week, my professor expressed shock and disgust that OMG, there are actually places in the world where they treat those dang homosexuals like human beings! I wanted to cry. I hate my country, sometimes.

Moving on: You’d think that studying in a uni with such a high Hot Guy Ratio would mean that I’ve found someone new to help me forget about Lyle, but no luck so far. They’re hot, just…not my type. Nobody’s half as witty or endearingly nerdtastic. Sigh.

Religion and boy drought aside, I actually love this place, and I’m glad I ended up here serendipitously. I think my studying is paying off, too! I never expected to be the topnotcher in my Math class. Awesomeee.

“A new world calls across the ocean…”

It’s official: I’m moving to the States next year! I want Seattle, my parents are considering New York or Maryland, but I’m happy either way. Yay!


The holidays are here again! And if there’s anybody reading this at all, I’m in a Christmassy mood, so if you want a handwritten greeting card from me, just email me (teenatheist@rocketmail.com) with your mailing address and I’ll send you one! And I would also appreciate some e-cards, too. πŸ˜€

How do you greet someone on Kwanzaa? Because if it were me, I’d wave my arms wildly in the air and just yell “KWANZAAAAAAAAA!” It’s such an awesome holiday name, why waste it?

So, that wraps up the new, dorky, boring, awesome chapter of my life! See you all around, maybe here or on Twitter if I decide to make one. And until next time: KWANZAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


1. Dean - December 5, 2009

Oh hey, you’re back! Hope you stay for good.

Do they really require you to take up Theology in Catholic unis? (I’m guessing you go either to [bleep] or to [bleep].) ’cause that sounds really sucky.

2. Teen Atheist - December 5, 2009

Dean, you stalker you! LOL JK.

Yes, four terms’ worth of Bullshit 101. They used to have an Alternative Religions class, but they abolished it, naturally. Because Catholicism is the only religion that matters! \o/

I was so pissed when I found out I had to study Theology, but I’ve managed to shove down most of my anger now. I’ve decided to see it as acting class instead, and I’m pretending to be the Good Little Catholic Girl! Complete with soundbites like, “I believe in God to show me the way.” The professors are impressed by my insight! Haha. I even did a reading for a Mass once, just for kicks.

3. Patrick - December 5, 2009

Hey! I really enjoyed this blog (though didn’t make a habit of commenting) and I’m glad to see you back! And yes, you should be on twitter, at the very least, you get to feel like a powerful cult leader when it says “you have 467 followers.”

My ID there, BTW, is porlob

4. Teen Atheist - December 6, 2009

Thanks for dropping by, Patrick! Okay, I’ll definitely consider a Twitter. πŸ™‚

5. Alberto - December 6, 2009

If you don’t like a university that is religious,go to [bleep] (Don’t Ask How did I Know that you were a [bleep], Teen Atheist) AMEN? AMEN!

6. Teen Atheist - December 6, 2009

Hah. Well, that’s one thing I respect about that university. However, I had my reasons for choosing not to go there. I’m happy where I am now. πŸ™‚ Thanks for the tip, though.

7. Alberto - December 6, 2009

Hay Naku Can we chat now? here is my email adresss

What are you doing now?

P.S Just Add Me

8. Alberto - December 6, 2009

How did you censor my messages? (Bleep)

9. Teen Atheist - December 6, 2009

It’s a WordPress feature. I don’t want any location-specific information in my comments, so I censor them.

10. Alberto - December 6, 2009

Ok Can we Chat Online Now?

11. Alberto - December 6, 2009

I Sent You an Invite

12. Jhay - December 6, 2009

Glad to see that you’re back to blogging again. We’ll all be looking forward to your new stories and adventures.

13. Alberto - December 7, 2009

I am Sorry for My Religious Punchline

(just said it out of comedy relief)

14. Holy Prepuce! - December 8, 2009

Ha, thanks for the shout-out – which I discovered not because I was lurking, but because I was narcissisticly googling my own blog and my search brought up this post. I owe you an email, which you will get once I dig out of the insane pile of work that has kept me chained to my desk for the last month.

Twitter is OK — I know people who are addicted. I have an account (@holyprepuce) for my blog to announce new posts, but that’s all I really use it for.

15. Teen Atheist - December 11, 2009

Thanks, Jhay! I’m glad people still remember me. πŸ˜€

16. Teen Atheist - December 11, 2009

Doug: No worries about that email! Oh, and my Christmas card offer’s still open, if you wanna include your mailing address in that email whenever you decide to send it. πŸ˜€

17. Jennifer Juniper - December 16, 2009

Yes, please stay! I found your blog after it had already been closed and I slowly go back and read your old posts!

I am SOOOO curious as to what country you live in. I honestly haven’t the foggiest idea. Stick around so you can get to know me and then you can tell me in secret! πŸ˜‰ haha

And congrats on coming to the US. We have our share of religious problems, but it sounds better than where you are now. I put my vote in for NYC! It’s the best! πŸ˜‰

18. Jennifer Juniper - December 16, 2009

PS Twitter can be great if you let it. I like following my favourite comedians and musicians, etc. And I follow a few atheist tweeps that tend to post interesting links. And if you follow me, I post an atheist quote every day (Mon-Fri) from The Quotable Atheist by Jack Huberman! I’m always surprised how many people seem to really like this! And it’s nice to find so many like-minded people!

Let us know your twitter handle, I’ll be sure to follow you!

19. Alberto - January 4, 2010

are you happy in the place where religion is shoved down your throat?(catholic university)

20. Teen Atheist - January 4, 2010

For the most part: Yes.

21. Alberto - January 4, 2010

I get the sarcasm,but do you want to go to the secular university “you-know-where”?

and besides that school is NOT for your liberated mind!

(by the way I am a seminarian-of-sorts LOL)

from the guy who asked:”are you happy in the place where religion is shoved down your throat”?(catholic university)

22. Teen Atheist - January 4, 2010

Dude, it’s not sarcasm. Despite the religion, I am actually very happy with where I study. I don’t like it when people lambast my university for 1) being religious, 2) having students who are dumb and overprivileged. My university is pretty fantastic, and I have a lot of friends who are perfectly smart and wonderful. A couple of atheists, too.

I have zero interest in studying in that secular university. My parents actually tried to force me to study there, I had to fight my way out of it. See previous entries for more backstory.

23. Alberto - January 5, 2010

Again,Why Study in a Place that is for you conservative and homophobic?(that’s my opinion)

You have to remove the s**t shoved down your throat,if it still bothers you.It Gags you so bad as YOU know.

(Bottomline “If you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen!”)

24. Teen Atheist - January 5, 2010

I LIKE where I am. Please respect that. Don’t trash-talk my school if you’ve never even been here.

25. Alberto - January 5, 2010

haaay(sigh)How can YOU remain an atheist now?,Really I am so freaking serious!!!!

26. Teen Atheist - January 5, 2010

You know what? Back the fuck off. Believe it or not, people in my college are much more RESPECTFUL of my atheistic beliefs than you are.

One of the main reasons I avoided your school like the plague was precisely because of that unwarranted sense of moral/intellectual superiority. I can’t stand it.

Now, you can either drop the subject and I’d be happy to discuss other things with you, but if you’re just going to flame this comments thread with My School vs. Your School arguments, I’m deleting your comments. I don’t want to play that game.

27. the Shaggy - January 15, 2010

Dude, I’m glad I randomly decided to come back here – I actually thought “I wonder what the Teen Atheist is up to, if anything” every couple of months, but it was never when I was able to check.

Go for quitting crappy jobs! I did the same in the fall!

28. Gian - March 15, 2010

I suddenly thought of visiting your blog after more than a year of not checking it out. Now you’re more than three months gone again haha.

Well, I’ve been to your uni before (it’s Ateneo, right?) and I must say that it’s a pleasant place to study in. I’m surprised that there are actually bigots for theology professors there because I’ve always thought that they’re a bit more open-minded. Aaand, well, the secular school isn’t as bad as you think. There are also a number of morons like Alberto, but overall, it’s also a nice place to be in. Just saying haha.

In any case, I do hope you return once again, because we’d love to hear about your boring life!

29. Agersomnia - July 2, 2010

Here’s another lurker, former commenter on your blog.

It is great to have you back again, and know that you’re doing well in this ol’ game called life.

Great hugs from Mexico, TA!

30. I_Am_Not_A_Leprachaun_:) - December 12, 2011

hey teen athiest!:) i’m a 1st time reader of your blog and it is actually very interesting πŸ˜€ and in relation to ”Alberto” or whatever his name is, what does it matter if teen athiest is in fact an atheist it’s her choice and it doesn’t concern you?.. just thought i would give my two cents on that situation πŸ™‚ oh hey and if ur on twitter can u follow me? i would like to keep reading ur blog πŸ™‚ @SwaagLikeJBiebs

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