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*taps microphone* October 4, 2023

Posted by Teen Atheist in Uncategorized.
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check, 1, 2…is this thing on?

hi everyone! it’s been a while.

For any teen atheists who want to be on TV March 14, 2013

Posted by Teen Atheist in Uncategorized.
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Someone contacted me hoping to find young atheists who might be interested in being part of a new series. I’m not particularly interested in having my mug on TV, but I would love to have some great personalities represent atheism on the show, so I offered to repost his email on my blog:

My name is Jack Marash, I am a casting producer for a great new show called Black Sheep. It’s a show about the black sheep of families. We are looking for men and women between the ages of 16 and 24 who are the black sheep of their families. We would love to have a story about some someone who comes from a religious background but now have different beliefs. I was wondering if you might have any readers who have this background, who would be interested in talking to me about the show.

If you’re interested, email JackM@vpetalent.com with a bit about yourself and your story.

Getting older March 9, 2013

Posted by Teen Atheist in Ask Teen Atheist, family, friends, issues.
3 comments

All throughout my youth, I dreamed of becoming a writer. I wrote all the time, about everything. I watched TV shows and ranted along with the curmudgeons on Television Without Pity about what each show did wrong, convincing myself that I could do a better job. I flew to America with a dream in my pocket: I’d study Dramatic Writing at NYU (because Philip Seymour Hoffman went there!) and become a television writer. I knew I could do it; all I had to do was want it badly enough.

Then I got to America, and found that there were millions of other people who were better writers than me. I realized I wasn’t a great writer after all, just an OK one. So I stopped writing.

It sounds a little sad — I’m sure it’d break the heart and hubris of my 17-year-old self — but I’m okay with it. It’s part of getting older. I’m thankful to be able to both recognize my limitations and accept them. Sure, it’s a little scary to suddenly not have a clear idea of what I want to do anymore, but part of growing up is learning about myself through experience.

I reread old blog entries on occasion, and I cringe a little (so much anger and drama and rambling in my teenage heart!), but I’m still proud of it. I’m glad I managed to capture the emotions in the eye of the storm, to document every moment of rejection from my parents. I’m only sorry I ran out of things to say, and sorry that I still have letters from teenage atheists out there that I haven’t responded to. When I stopped writing, I also stopped writing back.

So, teens and teens-at-heart who still check this dead blog, I’d like to tell you a bit of I learned in the process of getting older. I’m not much older, at 23, but I’m old enough to finally understand that there’s not really a point in life where I will be right about everything. (Don’t tell my 17-year-old self that.)

Things I Know Now:

  1. I can’t tell you if you should come out to your parents or not. But if you suspect your parents will lose their shit, there’s no shame in waiting until you’ve moved out to tell them. You’re not a coward, you’re their child and you shouldn’t have to deal with that conflict and potential abuse if you don’t feel prepared to handle it. Besides, it’s not like you were honest with them about your discovery of porn.
  2. If you’ve already told them, or if they found out, and they’re not handling it well, stay calm. If they try to throw every argument in the book at you, keep this response handy and repeat as necessary: “I’ve made my decision, and I am happy with it.”  If they object right away, say, “That is your opinion. But I’ve made my decision, and I’m happy with it.” The calmer you are when you say this, the more effective it’ll be.
  3. Google is a useful tool. Read more about atheism. Look up forums and discussion groups where you can talk with and befriend fellow atheists, and laugh with them about how shitty your parents are being. Sometimes it helps just knowing you’re not alone.
  4. Being part of the atheist online community is a great way to befriend people of all age groups, which is an experience I recommend for all teens. Now, a lot of older people will either insist or imply that they know better than you. They’re not all right, but they’re not all wrong either.
  5. Telling your friends can be nerve-wracking, but that first time you find a friend who reacts with just, “OK” — it’s a pretty awesome moment.  (And “Me too!” is even better!)
  6. Sometimes you’ll have friends who don’t agree with you. That’s fine — it’s pretty hard to make friends if you refuse to talk to anyone who isn’t an atheist. Just appreciate what you have in common with them, and accept that even if they’re wrong, they will never let you convince them that they’re wrong. I had a Republican roommate for a year, and the reason we got along well is because we never talked about politics. (Also, she owned the apartment, and cut me a HUGE break on rent. Good people.)
  7. That said, you can be a little choosier when it comes to who you date. I’ve found OKCupid to be a great way to meet fellow atheists, but don’t make an account if you’re not 18 yet!
  8. If you really have to, here are some questions you can ask a believer if you feel like being a smartass.
  9. In your teens it feels like your atheism is the biggest part of your identity because you have to defend it so often, but there will come a day where it’s just another part of your life. It gets better.
  10. You don’t know everything. You will never know everything. But keep learning anyway.

It gets better November 1, 2010

Posted by Teen Atheist in Uncategorized.
8 comments

A friend linked me to this. I was a sobbing mess within the first minute.

I sometimes wonder why I feel such a strong kinship to the LGBT community, and I think it’s because I’ve been through the same thing that many of them have. So I watched this video and I cried, because, as a (very awesome) friend put it:

they are all smiling and happy and you can tell they fucking FEEL this shit, that every single one of these guys knows what it is like to feel like every day, every second, is a struggle against a rising tide of people who hate you just for existing, and that now they are taking all the strength they’ve gained as happy, out grownups and are SHOOTING it through that song and through the camera to all the kids who need it.

So, to all of the teenage atheists out there who found my blog by having to google “teenage atheist” to figure out what the fuck to do, and to anyone who’s ever been made to feel worthless by their own parents: it gets better. As a now-20-year-old atheist who was shunned by her family, seen by her parents as a walking disappointment, and eventually kicked out and disowned, someone who still has to deal with comments and letters ranging from backhanded to downright hateful from Christians who spam my blog, I can tell you with all my heart that it gets better. It’s not easy, and it might take a long time, but you have to know that it gets better. I’m still in repair, tending the psychological damage incurred by living with a hateful, dysfunctional family like mine, but the day I was free of them was the day my life took a turn for the better. I found people who were more like family to me than my parents ever were, and I got to experience so much kindness from so many friends. Relatives, too: one of the places I lived in after getting kicked out was my (devout Catholic) grandmother’s house, and even knowing I was an atheist, she took me in and cared for me, no questions asked, no conditions. She saw me as a human being, not just a single label, or a parent’s ambition I failed to achieve. I finally got to know real love, real family. Away from the toxic environment of my former home, I was kept afloat by wonderful people who made me feel worthy, capable, beautiful, and loved.

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you to keep living, but I do hope you also remember to keep smiling. There will probably always be people out there trying to break you down, tell you that you’re wrong or evil or a failure, but don’t ever let anyone make you feel like less of a person. Some people will be utterly wrong about you, but some people will see you for who you really are. Be a good, kind person to the best of your ability, and good things will come to you.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. October 27, 2010

Posted by Teen Atheist in Uncategorized.
2 comments

UPDATE #1: I got my domain back! Many thanks to Kurtis for the pleasant surprise:

So I stumbled upon your blog, really liked what I saw, read that you had drama with the domain name owner, bought it, and forwarded it here. It should work again in a matter of seconds.

I am an atheist in my mid twenties, and really wish that I would have had a fall back like this when I went through my exit from the christian church. I think that this blog is a very important and had no problem fronting the cost for the domain name to keep traffic coming your way.

UPDATE #2: The (Erstwhile?) Teen Atheist is officially living in America now! East Coast. “I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien…”

Shit’s expensive, I feel shorter and smaller (I was downright Amazonian in my old country), and men are way more straightforward. I got carded for chocolate once. I dated a tall hot blond guy from the Pentagon for, like, a week, until an afternoon in Washington DC with him turned into a live reenactment of He’s Just Not That Into You — men, dude, they’re so unpredictable, maybe it was his time of the month. I can’t get a job until my SSN and green card come in the mail. I hope I do not turn into a hipster. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

Ask Teen Atheist #6 September 4, 2010

Posted by Teen Atheist in Ask Teen Atheist, family, issues.
5 comments

Chadwell writes:

I’m a 16 year old in highschool and I guess my natural cynicism lead me to question the dogma and ignorance of religion. I was a christian but I just figured that why would god send the only salvation to man kind to a single area and practically turn his all-mighty back on the rest of the isolated world. More issues built up and I questioned more until I reached the point of atheism. I have been a self proclaimed atheist for a while now. However, I should just get to the problem I’m having. So my parents are relatively religious and always turn a blind eye to anything negative about religion. I “came out” to them two days ago and they literally laughed at me. They took nothing seriously and they said I would need to rely on my faith in god one day.

So whithout further ado, what should I do? (lol that rhymed) What should I say/do to prove to them I’m serious?

Though not all atheists had to go through the same thing I did (thankfully), I’ve been through enough to say this: it’s very, very difficult to make the religulous see our side of things. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s not worth the effort — at best, you get a fair debate, at worst you worsen the rift between yourself and the people you’re talking to.

In a situation like yours, I think the issue isn’t so much about how to convince them as it is about how to deal with them. Religious parents react in different ways upon finding out about their child’s atheism; I think you’re actually lucky your parents went for denial instead of anger, like my (estranged) parents did, but I understand how frustrating it is when your parents don’t take you seriously.

And this sounds stupidly simplistic of me, but: the best way to prove you’re serious is to be serious. As many a writing teacher would tell you, “Show, don’t tell.” You already know that your parents are likely to turn a deaf ear to anything you have to say in defense of your non-belief, so instead, be a living example of how you can be a sane, good and kind person even without God or Christianity in your life. Refine your motivations and your values system. Donate to charity because you like helping others. Study hard because you want to succeed. Don’t hurt or steal because you genuinely believe that such acts are wrong because they violate basic human rights. Be nice to other people, including your parents. That way, if your parents ever start coming at you with attacks on your beliefs, you can defend it through real-life examples.

It’s still possible that no matter how well you live your life, your parents will still refuse to show any modicum of respect or tolerance for your beliefs. My estranged parents still see my atheism as a personal failure on their part. (They failed me in countless ways, but atheism wasn’t one of those.) But if you have a life you’re proud of and a belief system and values system you’re secure in, their approval won’t (and shouldn’t) matter to you anymore. You’ve risen above them. You take yourself seriously. And that’s what’s really important.

Ask Teen Atheist #5 March 27, 2010

Posted by Teen Atheist in Ask Teen Atheist, backstory, family.
13 comments

Michael asks:

I am 14.  I was raised Catholic, and until about a week ago I was a firm believer.  But last week I began to think.  And the more I thought, the more it didn’t make sense.  I’m pretty confident at this point that I don’t believe in God, and I’m pretty sure I’m an Atheist.  However, I haven’t had the guts to tell anybody. There is a sort of silent understanding between me, a friend who seems to be in a similar situation, and his atheist girlfriend.  Anyway, I feel safe in my belief that my friends will be tolerant if I tell them.

My real concern is in my mom. My dad not so much.  He’s extremely Liberal, and in no way seems like he would be angry about this.  I’m not sure how my mom will react though.  She was raised heavily Catholic and is still pretty Catholic herself.  I’m worried how she will react.  I also have two younger sisters, and I’m not sure how they’ll react either.  Worst of all are my grandparents,who have a strong hold on my mom and are devoutly Catholic.  I worry their reaction would climb into the extremes.

I’m supposed to be confirmed in May, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to bare that huge a lie.  I need to get this off my chest before then.

What do you think would be the best way to come out to my mom to minimize her alarm?

First of all, it’s great that you’re applying critical thinking to your religious beliefs. I encourage you to read more about atheism in order to strengthen your beliefs, because down the road you will come across people who will try desperately to change your mind, and it helps to be equipped with a strong foundation and appropriate counter-arguments.

I was confirmed back when I was 12, although I was still Catholic then so it wasn’t a big problem at the time. I understand how hard it is to lie; even though I was outed to my parents against my own will, I don’t think I could’ve kept my beliefs a secret for very long.

I would recommend that you start by telling the truth about your atheism to the people you believe won’t have a problem with it, like your friends and your dad. In a situation like this, it’s important to have a support system to fall back on, and knowing that your friends and your dad will be there for you will really help in case your mom rejects your beliefs. I didn’t have that luxury when I was outed, so it was completely awful for me; I was sequestered in a house with a family who refused to talk to me, and friends who didn’t know what was going on. I cried almost every other week. When I told the truth to some of my close friends, though, I felt much better.

Once you’ve set up that support system for yourself, talk to your dad about how you feel about the upcoming confirmation. Ask him for advice and let him know you trust him. This way, at least you’re sure one parent understands where you’re coming from, even if the other doesn’t.

As for the actual conversation with your mom, wait until she’s in a reasonably good mood before you sit her down and talk to her. Start with the positive: let her know you appreciate the moral values she’s taught you, etc. Emphasize that your decision to become an atheist had nothing to do with the way she raised you — it’s more than likely that parents will blame themselves and see it as a mistake when a child deviates from the religion s/he was indoctrinated in, so it helps to let them know early on that nobody’s at fault. Tell her that you’re growing up and learning to think for yourself, which is a good thing. But be firm about your decision not to be confirmed and your need for her to understand that confirmation is a very personal thing; no ritual or sacrament can change what you believe in, because belief comes from within.

Whether or not to tell your grandparents is up to you. Like I said, religion is a personal issue, so I don’t feel the need to broadcast my atheism to everyone I meet (if I did, I’d waste time on many, many more circular arguments, and those are never fun). Of my extended family, only one cousin knows I’m an atheist, and that’s only because he discovered it by accident while borrowing my laptop. I don’t feel all that affected by it, honestly — I doubt telling my relatives would help or improve my relationship with them.

Best wishes, and no matter what happens, the most important thing is that you maintain a firm grasp on your own identity. Don’t let fear, intimidation or guilt change that.

Chapter II December 5, 2009

Posted by Teen Atheist in family, friends, school.
30 comments

Hello, world! Wow, it’s almost been a year since I closed this blog. I’m writing this partly to see who would still notice anything new on a blog that’s been dead for a year (reveal yourselves, lurkers!), and partly because hey, I’m in a whole new chapter of my life now, and I actually have things to say about it this time.

Property on the internets

The teenatheist.com address is dead now, so we’re back to teenatheist.wordpress.com. I had a falling-out with the dude who paid for the domain, plus there’s no point in paying for a dead blog.

My identity

I used to say that I wouldn’t mind if people figured out where I’m from and what my real name is, but honestly? It annoys the fuck out of me. Like, a couple of guys found me on a social networking site within a month of this blog’s inception, and there was this dude who made really irritating “I know who you are” comments on this blog several months ago, and emailed me asking for my real name and shit. Guys, sometimes people want to stay anonymous for a reason.

And why is it important, anyway? I always wanted the focus to be on what went on in my life, not what my name is, where I live or what I look like.

Don’t try to force it out of me — I actually just give it away if I like/trust you enough. For instance, I still stay in touch with Holy Prepuce via chat and email, and I ask him for advice about my real-world issues. And a dude I went to high school with started reading and commenting, and I talked to him on chat with my IRL handle and I was like, “You know Teen Atheist? You’re talking to her.” Haha.

Commercial: Kris Allen

If you like me, you’ll check out Kris Allen‘s album! He’s the dude that won American Idol this year, but he is way fucking cool, makes awesome, mellow, acoustic pop-rock stuff, and he did this kick-ass mash-up of “Falling Slowly” from Once and U2’s “With or Without You,” that I have been listening to for days on end. His album is my favorite album of any Idol alum, ever. My favorite song on the album is “Bring It Back.”

Twitter

Should I get a Twitter? I could, if there are enough of you out there whom I could talk to. Give me your Twitter links!

[Obligatory fundie rant goes here]

One time, I Googled myself and found this Christian site where they featured my blog and were like, “Everybody, please pray for this girl so that she becomes enlighted by God” or some shit. Haha. Keep praying, dudes. The only god I worship is Bjork.

The Workplace

I quit my job in February of 2009. I got sick of it — I was one of the best salespeople on the team, but apparently our manager has never heard of that story about how you’re not supposed to fucking kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, you moron, that’s not how it works. (Read: I was overworked and underpaid, and double-overworked because they knew I was good.)

There are two more characters I have stories about, though. First is Eddie, this guy who joined the company a little after I ended the blog. We hit it off and since we lived near each other, he would drive me to and from work. I always thought of him as a really good friend, but we did have weird moments of sexual tension sometimes. But he was engaged, and I kind of lost interest in him early on, anyway.

Two weird stories involving Eddie:

1) One time, he asked if I wanted to “hang out” (intentionally vague). I said yes, he picked me up and it turned out he and his best friend were taking me to a bar. He paid for my drinks, at least. He kept offering me more booze, but I gave a firm no after the second pina colada, and then they whispered to each other and decided to take me home instead. No idea what that was about. Upon consulting with a high school friend, I was informed: “Dude, he was trying to get you drunk and fuck you.” I am quite clueless, sometimes.

2) A few months after I quit, Eddie started texting me, first asking if I was single, and then asking if he could take me out to dinner. I didn’t understand, because I’m pretty sure he knew that I knew he was engaged. But I was too much of a pussy to say no, so for two weeks straight I just kept saying that I was sick. I felt bad about it, because I really, really like him as a friend, and I still miss him to this day. But I don’t want it to be one of those things where I show up hoping for some nice conversation and by the end of the night I’m trying to figure out how to politely say “please stop putting your hand up my skirt.”

(Side note: I haven’t gotten any in a while, and if I don’t soon I might actually take him up on his offer. But he’s engaaaaged, TA. Control!)

The other guy I’ll tell you about is Lyle. Lyle isn’t a knockout at first glance, but he’s pretty cute if you look really really hard, and is kind of a paragon of perfection for me: 23, never had a girlfriend (read: not a chauvinistic horndog like 96% of the dudes in my country, and it’s not like he didn’t have opportunities — I wasn’t the only girl who dug him, but his friends say he’s cripplingly shy around women), well-off, nerdy (I’m a sucker for scrawny, effete, dorktastic types), humble, sweet, very fluent in English, can sing and play guitar, mmm.

Hilariously, though, I have never even been formally introduced to this dude, and have only talked to him a few times, so I was stuck with the conundrum of “Can you like someone for his inner beauty when you’ve never really met?” Because it’s not like I fell for him because of his looks.

But, ever heard of this thing called mamihlapinatapai? It’s when two people look at each other and want the same thing, but they’re both too afraid to make a move. Yeah, I think Lyle and I had that? Because I’d stare at him but end up catching him staring at me first, and I’d look away immediately because I’m a wimp of failcat proportions. But I can safely say that I’ve never had anyone look at me like that before.

Another funny thing is that we always talked about each other rather than to each other. I learned of this really late in the game — literally a week before I left the company — but my supervisor said he would ask her about me sometimes. EEEEEE.

But I just waved off all of these signs because I was going through a huge He’s Just Not That Into You phase, and I’m typically dense about men, anyway. Like, I didn’t figure this shit out until six months after I quit, when I told this to a new friend, Gloria, and she was like, “You moron, you should’ve jumped him while you had the chance” and I was like, “OH, FUUUUUU—.”

In the end, I think Lyle really wasn’t that into me. I’ve been told that if the guy doesn’t have the balls to ask you out, he’s not worth it, anyway. It just sucks that it’s been almost a year since I last saw Lyle and I still get heartclenchy when I think about him. Gah. Go away, feelings.

I have his number (it was in a company directory). I’d never use it, but I sometimes wish he would text out of the blue. Hi, you don’t know me but —


College!

“Pass out at three, wake up at ten, go out to eat, then do it again…”

Unfortunately for me, my college life is NOTHING like that. Well, not unfortunately, because even though life right now is completely boring to the outside eye, I’m actually genuinely happy. I have party girl friends, and through conversations with them, I’ve realized that while partying is fun sometimes, I’m just not that kind of girl, and it’s okay. I think it just means that I’m too smart to get shitfaced. I don’t really like the taste of alcohol, and I have way too many secrets to allow myself to get hammered. And my friends have dudes try to rape them while they’re drunk on a weekly basis, so yeah, I don’t think I’m missing out on much.

My boring life? Consists of me studying a lot and having boring (awesome) friends and chatting with Holy Prepuce in English class. Hee, that was fun. They forced us to watch The 6th Day (that Schwarzenegger flick about cloning), which was like pulling teeth, although this Rod Rowland dude is hot. After the movie, we discussed cloning, and since I go to a Catholic university (not the one I wanted, not the one my parents wanted — the other one), the debate ended with my professor concluding, “Clones have no souls, therefore cloning is bad, the end.” Bah.

I’m also forced to take four Theology classes, FML. Last week, my professor expressed shock and disgust that OMG, there are actually places in the world where they treat those dang homosexuals like human beings! I wanted to cry. I hate my country, sometimes.

Moving on: You’d think that studying in a uni with such a high Hot Guy Ratio would mean that I’ve found someone new to help me forget about Lyle, but no luck so far. They’re hot, just…not my type. Nobody’s half as witty or endearingly nerdtastic. Sigh.

Religion and boy drought aside, I actually love this place, and I’m glad I ended up here serendipitously. I think my studying is paying off, too! I never expected to be the topnotcher in my Math class. Awesomeee.

“A new world calls across the ocean…”

It’s official: I’m moving to the States next year! I want Seattle, my parents are considering New York or Maryland, but I’m happy either way. Yay!

Christmas

The holidays are here again! And if there’s anybody reading this at all, I’m in a Christmassy mood, so if you want a handwritten greeting card from me, just email me (teenatheist@rocketmail.com) with your mailing address and I’ll send you one! And I would also appreciate some e-cards, too. 😀

How do you greet someone on Kwanzaa? Because if it were me, I’d wave my arms wildly in the air and just yell “KWANZAAAAAAAAA!” It’s such an awesome holiday name, why waste it?

So, that wraps up the new, dorky, boring, awesome chapter of my life! See you all around, maybe here or on Twitter if I decide to make one. And until next time: KWANZAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I’m sorry. I love you. December 11, 2008

Posted by Teen Atheist in friends, issues, teen angst.
20 comments

Heh, leave it to me to end a blog with a Shawn Michaels (a.k.a. HBK, uber-religious WWE Superstar) quote.

You have to know where the song ends. When you’re done telling your story. I think that time has come for me. I’ve written everything that needed sharing, and I believe it’s actually a good thing that I no longer have anything to whine or complain about in my usual, teenagery way.

Sometimes we just run out of things to say, and I think it’s okay to admit that.

I am completely grateful for having gotten to know all of you. Even if the interactions were limited to a keyboard and a screen, you have helped me so much through my darkest hours. And I feel wonderful that somehow, writing this has helped in the lives of some fellow teenage atheists, even if it is just to a very minor extent.

Do remember that just because I’ve stopped writing here doesn’t mean that Teenage Atheist has ceased to exist. You can always use the Contact page or e-mail me. Ask me about my life, tell me about yours. Ask me questions, recommend places to visit or books to read. I will write back. Whether it takes me five hours or five weeks, I’ll always go out of my way to respond to each and every one of you. It’s the least I could do.

So, in closing: Thank you, with all of my heart. Thank you, to the young freethinkers who wrote in to share their stories and ask for counsel; to the mature ones (I’ve maintained that older does not always mean wiser, but many of you are brilliant) who offered their advice and knowledge; to the witty ones who made me laugh; to the sympathetic and the empathetic ones who made me feel that I wasn’t hopeless. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

“So, if this does end up being my last letter, please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough. And I will believe the same about you.” – The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky)

Love always,
Teen Atheist
teenatheist@rocketmail.com

“Atheist” =/= “Alien” October 10, 2008

Posted by Teen Atheist in anecdotes, career, friends, issues.
Tags: , , , , , , ,
14 comments

The workplace gives me a good bird’s eye view of how people in my country see atheists. There’s the weird “I was gonna tell you something but now I’m not because you might get offended” reaction, for one. And lately I’ve been more open about religion to more people. Luckily, the reaction’s not Bible Belt bad, it’s just an amusing sort of cluelessness. “What is this strange creature they call ‘atheist’?”

Gary (whom I now find really annoying and creepy): “Did you hear about the — oh wait, you’re an atheist…”
TA: “Dude, we’re not hateful misanthropes who can’t take a joke. I like Altar Boyz and the occasional Lifehouse song, and Judd Apatow anti-Semitism references. People act so weird around you once they know you’re an atheist.”
George (nebbish guy that I’m sort of crushing on): “You’re an atheist, TA?”
TA: “Er, yeah. You scared?”
George: “No, I just didn’t know.”
Anne: “Ah, your religion is atheist?” (to others) “Hey, TA’s religion is atheist!”

Like bald is a hair color, as many would say.

TA: “Just tell the damn joke already. I’m not easily offended.”
Gary: “So, there’s this very smart, atheist professor, who would challenge his class with arguments about how God does not exist…”
TA: (tries hard not to groan) “Does this involve a piece of chalk and whether or not it breaks?”
Gary: “Well, it’s an egg…”

Again, I’m not easily offended, but he had to pick the one joke that specifically targeted my beliefs and claimed that some stupid coincidence disproves everything I believe in? Somebody hand this guy the Idiot’s Guide to Interacting with People.

Bern: “Yeah, my girl and I are having some issues, especially when it comes to religion.” (note: he’s Catholic, she’s…some smaller sect of Christianity)
TA: “Heh, you said it. It’s doubly hard for people like me.”
Bern: “Why, what religion are you?”
TA: “I’m an atheist, actually.”
Bern: “Oh! Where’s your church located?”

So yeah, sometimes it’s easier to just not bother bringing it up, because it gets fairly tedious to have to spell everything out for everybody.

It still beats the Bible Belt, though. Better cluelessness than bigotry and hatred.

By the way, did I mention that Gary is really annoying and creepy? Have you ever experienced having a friend of the opposite sex, who you really want to tell to stop fucking touching you, but you can’t because you don’t wanna make it weird? I mean, it’s not like they’re caressing your tits or anything, but the constant touches on the shoulder or forearm, or high-fives are beginning to seriously piss you off because you’re just not a touchy-feely kind of person, except when it’s a serious, crying-your-eyes-out issue, or if it’s from someone you dig (like when George touches my hair, I totally don’t mind).

Luckily, Gary’s quitting next month, so I just have to keep my distance for a little longer.