And this Christmas will be a very special Christmas for me September 19, 2007
Posted by Teen Atheist in anecdotes, family, issues, rants.Tags: atheism, Christmas, religion
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“Do your friends know that you’re an atheist?” Mother asked on a ride home from the mall. (Answer: Only three. Not sure if I want to tell the rest.) “Because atheists can’t celebrate Christmas, you know. These are things you have to think about. Because you know what Christmas celebrates.”
No shit, Sherlock. I knew what she was up to, because if there’s any adjective that defines my mother (aside from the obvious “elitist” and “self-absorbed”), it’s “manipulative.” She knew how much I loved Christmas. And I do! It’s my favorite time of the year next to my birthday, because I love the cold weather and the lights and the gifts and the music. Basically everything tangible about Christmas; I could care less about what it celebrates. Of course, Mother Dearest would call me out for being shallow if I told her about how I really felt about Christmas, so I just rolled my eyes and kept to myself.
Using Christmas as a weapon to tempt me into returning to the Catholic fold? Bitch move, Mother Dearest.
I have a feeling I won’t be getting anything for Christmas this year, which sucks because they’ve already taken away my allowance (long story) and Christmas is the only time of the year when I get a substantial amount of money from relatives.
To console myself, I’ve come up with an alternate plan: On Christmas Eve, I’m going to put on my sluttiest outfit and head to the swankiest club to get completely trashed. (I might even get laid!) Because damn it, I’ll be LEGAL by Christmas! Fuck, yeah!
Diary of a Teenage Atheist 
I like Christmas. But for me it’s just a time to be with my family (although the get-togethers are smaller and less frequent as the years pass). Christmas can be anything you want it to be, whether you are atheist, catholic, or jewish.
I’m an atheist and my wife is Muslim, but we still celebrate Christmas. (yeah, try to picture THAT!)
The culture of Christian countries has for so long been influenced by religion that there is often a fine line (or no line) between a religious practice and a cultural practice.
When someone sneezes I still say bless you. I don’t believe that a benevolent diety will rain down blessings in answer to my “prayer”, it’s just part of our culture.
I know many atheists who celebrate Christmas. It is a time to be with loved ones and show them that you care. It is a time to have fun and eat a lot of junk for no particular reason. Most of the Christians I know don’t do anything significantly different than I do on Christmas. Though a few of them go to church that day.
“To console myself, I’ve come up with an alternate plan: On Christmas Eve, I’m going to put on my sluttiest outfit and head to the swankiest club to get completely trashed. (I might even get laid!) Because damn it, I’ll be LEGAL by Christmas! Fuck, yeah!”
I’m not sure that is the best idea. Unless you want to convince your family that you are suddenly possessed by Satan or something. 😀
Sluggabohn: Wow, Christmas at your place sounds awesome! How do you celebrate it, though? Just the usual feast and gift-giving like everybody else?
I have a feeling my family will still exclude me from the festivities, just to spite me. You know, “you made your bed, now lie in it” and all that jazz. I wouldn’t put it beneath my mother to force me to give back all the gifts my relatives might give me (or warn them in advance that I’m an atheist). Oy vey.
I hope I’m proven wrong, but if things go the way I think they will, Teen Atheist’s Christmas 2007 will involve copious amounts of alcohol and a huge hangover the following morning.
Joe: Judging by my mother’s thinly-veiled threat, I doubt that it would be a very fun Christmas at home anyway. They’d probably make snide remarks the whole time, like, “Oh, but I thought you were an atheist? Or is that only when it suits you?”
Hee, they probably already do think that, judging from their reactions when I told them I was an atheist. Nothing beats being called a “rotten-heart satanist” by your younger brother. And my father thinks that I’ve abandoned all sense of virtue just because I don’t believe that a god exists.
Yes, I do think some heavy drinking may be in order — it beats the hell out of spending Christmas Eve holed up in my room feeling lonely.
Maybe you should teach your family about the true origins of Christmas (originating from those evil Pagans! *ooooOOOooo!*) and see how snooty they remain. ^_^ A little education can go a long way.
You celebrate this particular Pagan holiday by being with your family and appreciating your time together. It’s rare that everybody gets to be in the same place for an extended period of time, so enjoying their company will be most advantageous.
Also, you may also celebrate the materialistic side of the holiday. Give and receive gifts for the reason that you like giving.
Make people know that religion does not have the monopoly in terms of “goodness” and “ethics”.
Nicest Girl: I actually had no idea it originated from pagans! Thanks, I’ll definitely keep that in mind.
Benj: I would like to celebrate Christmas the usual way, if my family weren’t so insistent on holding it over my head.
Good point. I think that how I celebrate Christmas is more of a pride thing than anything else, though — my family is too proud to let their wicked atheist daughter join in the festivities, and I am too proud to let my mom have the upper hand. I have no idea what I would tell them, anyway. If I explained that I only liked the materialistic side of it, they’d call me out for being shallow.
Let me ask you something, can only Irish celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Can only catholics appreciate mardi gras? Can only Mexicans celebrate Cinco de Mayo? Hell, if we have to put up with their carols and nativity scenes then I think we deserve a little party too, no? Silly logic that you can’t celebrate x-mas if you’re an atheist. You’re free to celebrate anything.
btw, you might appreciate this clip of a kid telling his mom he’s an atheist.
Indeed, phillychief, and I would love to celebrate Christmas. I think at this point, it’s a matter of who I spend it with. Given the way my family’s been treating me, and how my mother mentioned that atheists can’t celebrate Christmas, I have a feeling spending it with my family would be more of a pain in the ass than anything. Celebrating with a bunch of party people who won’t judge me seems the favorable option at this point. I could be wrong, though.
Thanks for the clip, by the way! 😀 Thankfully, my parents weren’t that mean, but the gist of what they told me is pretty much the same as Pissed Catholic Mother’s. My parents are more on the “sneaky and underhanded” side than the “outraged” side. Tee-hee!
Well I’m sorry if you don’t get presents from the family or have a crappy holiday this year, but consider it a rite of passage. You’re on the verge of probably the most exciting part of your life, college, where you’ll be exposed to a lot of new people and ideas. Keep that in mind and look forward to that as you suffer any grief now.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks! I think that the liberation I feel at finally being free from the restraints of Catholicism makes this all worth it. And I will actively try to minimize the crappiness of my holiday 😀
Well, in Sweden Christmas don’t have to have something do with Christ or religion, it’s mostly a very old and (sometimes) nice tradition. That is, when acting in a human way: to be with and love your dearest on that holiday.
That sounds tough in your case. I really can’t understand how parents or siblings can do that to a family member. Where is the love in such family? *sigh*
Maybe it’s our pagan inheritage that pull through here for m, but I really think people should concentrate on humanity instead of separate themselves with different religions or ban anyone that don’t have the faith in God or Gods.
I can understand that you’re revolting and choosing to go out instead, but probably the best thing would have been if they didn’t get to you that way at all. That you could stay cool and show them that you don’t care, you’re enough confident in your atheism to be bigger than them and don’t care about their (in my eyes) very bad behavior.
Maybe that would annoy them even more though… *giggles*
Hee. I think my choosing to go clubbing is more out of desperation to not have a sucky Christmas than it is a revolt. We’ll see what happens. 😀
Just don’t cut your nose off to spite your face. It’s hard to convince the jeebus worshippers that nontheists can be ethical and moral without the threat of hell fire and brimstone.
I’m all for sex and fun, but I always caution against behavior that will lead to regrets later. Rebelling by clubbing just reinforces the bias against those “immoral godless heathens” (or “heatherns” as they say in the South).
Do you have any other atheist/agnostic friends? If you don’t now, you will in college (and you’ll probably get laid by a xian or two who will never “get” the irony, or the hypocrisy on their part of the big xian taboo – sex before marriage!!! gasp)
As for your mom, kill her with kindness. She’s expecting you to be difficult, but it will really piss her off if you take the high road, and you’ll never regret it.
You’re going to be fine.
Another atheist just approached me for assistance in a certain school project about atheism. Here’s one thing I told him:
If you want to talk in behalf of atheists, stick to a dignified, eloquent and organized manner. Regardless of belief, most people would hate a whiner and even if valid points are being made, it will be easy for them to tune out.
In the end, we want secularism to be common place. The way to that goal is quality discourse and not all-out bashing.
Jsn: True. But I actually do enjoy clubbing, so it’s kind of a way for me to enjoy Christmas, if I can’t spend it with my family.
Ahaha, benj, are you calling me out for being whiny? 😛
Listen, this blog has no agenda other than to reveal the discrimination I as an atheist face, and being a bit of a whiner really is part of who I am. I’m a teenager, what can I say 😛 Anyway, it’s in my “tenets” page — I’m actually against Christian-bashing, myself. 😀
[…] September 23, 2007 Posted by Teen Atheist in atheism, friends, issues, religion. trackback As I’d previously mentioned, three of my friends know that I’m an atheist. One, whom I shall call Fred*, is somebody I […]
No, I just got riled up with the person who emailed me. hahaha
Think of that as a preemptive reminder just in case. hehe
Ooh, show me the email! 😀
I can sympathize somewhat with the situation you describe with respect to manipulative parental units and Christmas vs. atheism.
Better yet, you can see for yourself in my original coming out post (see the 4th comment), though my views have evolved since then — now I would call myself a “strong atheist” and am an avid supporter of Richard Dawkins.
Cool, Brad. If you don’t mind, could you share how you made the transition to “strong atheist?” I’m still at the stage you were at in your post. I live and let live.
In any case, I’ll check out your posts and try to see for myself. 😀
That’s a good question. To start, it’s worth noting that religion was present and fed to me from an early age from one side of my family (parents split); in this case it was Baptist doctrine. I went to vacation bible school and attended Sunday school occasionally.
When I was a young teenager, at 13, one of my parent figures became much more aggressive about pushing religion on me, insisting that I attend church when I didn’t want to (I thought it was boring) and generally spewing all sorts of dogma about my soul and being saved.
I felt cornered and ill-equipped for this onslaught, as I had no answers for the questions that were meant to be rhetorical but I felt had to have reasonable answers. So I began to think about religion; a lot. I read about religion, authoritarianism, dystopia and history. I discussed religion with close friends who were also indoctrinated by their parents and with very few steps of formal logic was able to convince them that religion is indeed illogical and a product of man, but they didn’t seem to be interested.
A few months later (having endured or avoided the confrontations in the meantime) I fought back with logic and pointed questions. It was glorious. Of course there were no answers. I stood fast by my logic and a few examples from history vs. the Bible and the confrontations stopped. I was left alone again almost completely, save for the occasional frustrating situation.
Fast forward 7 years to college, where I studied philosophy as one of my majors and attended the philosophy club regularly. It was this period of increased thought and research on the subject that lead me to the declaration of my weak atheism.
Since then two things have pushed me to a stronger form: perspectives on world affairs and introspection on family matters. The first is comprised mostly of the writings of Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. I read a ton of history on religions and religious conflicts; great thinkers, logicians, philosophers (religious and not), etc. The recurring theme I ran into and my conclusion based on this research is that religion was useful at some point to solidify group morality and civilization, but it was defined outside the realm of normal reason and has plagued the world, despite its loudly touted benefits, ever since its conception by men many centuries ago. Religion has done far more harmful things to us physically, but most of all intellectually, than it could ever hope to outweigh with humanitarian benefits.
The second part of the slide to strong atheism involved looking at events in my family that were unnecessarily religious and caused problems and conflicts because they were so. I lost a great deal of respect for someone who had always held evidence and reason with the highest regard, but crumbled under pressure to be “saved” and “see the light” of massive ignorance that now plagues our interaction. Other people in my family are derisive and incompetent as a direct result of their blind ideology and it is very frustrating to see people who could be good fall into cycles of hatred and ignorance that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
So that’s my story. Sorry for the length, but hopefully that gives some insight into the process. Good luck forging your own path and asking your own questions. Any truth that someone has to tell you to believe in “because it’s the truth” is precisely the opposite of truth and you should run from it; quickly.
Thank you so much for sharing that, Brad! One of the reasons that I’m glad I started this blog is that I gain so much knowledge and good advice from you guys. It’s been really enlightening. 😀
Ouch. That sucks. Do your parents force you to go to mass as I am? 😀
Harhar. That going out to a club might not be the best idea, though. If your family does decide to exclude you, I’d be more than happy to share a drink with a fellow freethinker.
But not in a club, please. XD
Ah, my family hasn’t seen the inside of a church in years. 😀 Hilarious, actually. Does your family know that you’re atheist?
Hee, but slutty dancing is fun! 😀 Anyway, yeah, let’s see how it goes. I just don’t want to waste Christmas holed up in my room while the family has the annual Christmas feast. At least I stopped eating red meat this year!
I say go out and have fun, just be careful, you know. As an atheist Christmas is still fine with me. One other thing that you can do is find a local atheist group, many celebrate the season irreverently with a Solstice Party (the days are getting longer after the solstice after all, and this is part of the origin of the holiday.)
Pagans say that the holiday originally signified the re-birth of The God (whatever name they give him) who annually dies at the summer solstice. Kind of like a certain man-god who dies every year on Good Friday.
I celebrate Christmas no matter what, and I kind of laugh when people are puzzled. It’s just a frickin’ day on the calendar, not ordained by God as a birthday.
Nice blog, btw.
I’m not sure, but they do notice that I fail to do the sign of the cross at mass. XD
I believe that, now that we know Jesus is real, Christmas will take on to a better meaning for us atheists. We can now celebrate it as a season of genuine sharing, for the sake of sharing. We don’t give gifts just because God told us to do so in this season. We give them for the sake of. ;))
And about the conversation you have with Martin, instead of heading to a club, why not get completely trashed — in your sluttiest outfit — in mass? XD
It’s been part of my wish-list to actually get drunk in church, and I think you have this great opportunity to do so. 😀
Mike (hey, sorry to be a n00b, but what does FCD stand for?): Exactly! A girl just wants to have fun, you know 🙂 And yeah, sucks that Christianity somehow owns this wonderfully commercialized holiday.
Martin: Ooh, I stopped doing the sign of the cross long before I turned atheist, and my mom always called me out on it. ‘Cause it makes Baby Jeebus cry. 😛 Do you plan on coming out to them, or would that just be asking for trouble?
Gab: Getting drunk and whore-y in church? Hee, that crosses the line from “I’m just having fun” to “I’m being obnoxious, boo-yah!” just a little, but I’m open to the idea. 😛 Your wish-list sounds interesting, you should blog about it sometime!
Hey, that’s a great idea. I was having trouble with what to write about next. Thanks a lot. 🙂
I hate to say this, but your mother is using Christmas in a very twisted and sadistic way. There’s no reason you can’t celebrate the holiday with presents. Tell her it was a pagan holiday marking the end of the year before Christians “stole” (ahem, I mean, “appropriated”) it for their own ends. This dogmatism and outright nastiness of religion is what frankly turns me off to it. It’s used as a method of control and aggression, which is a perversion of its intent, but because it’s “religion” its practitioners could get away with far more intolerant and bigoted behavior than any atheist or agnostic could.
Sad but true.
Exactly, John. It’s one of the reasons why I became an atheist — I couldn’t stand being part of a religion that preaches intolerance. And yes, it’s sad that my mother is using the supposed birthday of her beloved deity to manipulate me.
I don’t think I’d be overtly coming out to my family anytime soon. It’s a directive of mine to maintain the status quo unless pragmatic necessity deems the result of deviation more desirable than the status quo.
XD
[…] family, rants. Tags: atheism, religion, superstition trackback Yes, this is going to be another “my mother and I were talking in the car” story, which took place about four months […]
[…] This Christmas, part 2 October 16, 2007 Posted by Teen Atheist in anecdotes, family, issues, rants, teen angst. Tags: atheism, Christmas, holidays, religion trackback [This Christmas, Part 1 is here.] […]
On Christianity coming from Paganism, Christ is a personifcation of the sun. At the winter solstice the sun is no higher(northwards) or lower(southwards) at sunrise for three days. It moves but looking on each sunrise it hasn’t moved higher or lower. You can tell if it’s higher at sunrise if it’s any northwards than the day before. On the third day it moves higher by one degree and people rejoice for the plants will be growing again soon, skin problems will be healed, weak bones will be healed, and light will be all over the place. On Easter, the Sun is overcoming darkness. Days will be longer than nights. Good Friday came from the idea that Christ rose on Sunday so he died on Friday. He died on December 22nd and rose on December 25th.
During Virgo and Libra is the time of Harvest and Judgment of the crop respectively. Thus the fall, and the fall equinox when darkness overcomes light, are times when the people fear judgment. They thought souls were planted to be harvested and judged in the end.
Santa Claus is resistant to fire, can make chimneys pop out of nowhere(like we saw in The Santa Claus movie), or at least can fit inside of them, is invisible to detection, can do all of his work in one night, and knows when kids are good or bad. So he is omnipotent, omniscient, and timeless. When kids are good, they get toys. When they are bad, they get ‘brimestone’… This sounds awfully familiar.
A funny fact, the myth of Santa Claus came from the usage of Amanita Muscaria mushrooms, which are described in the sexy song o’ Solomon :P. In Siberia, they pick amanita muscarias and place them on the pine trees, thus the ‘red with white spot mushroom that is shaped like a bell’ ornaments that we hang on the tree. While sitting on a pine tree, they are ‘baked’ in the sun to filter out the poison. They go golden-brown and seem to be like baked bread. The mushrooms are placed into a sack and the priest or shaman or whatever goes to deliver them to homes. The snow can be piled up so high that the deliverer has to go down the chimney!
Amanita muscarias also collect water in the morning when the caps are cupped upwards. These are called the holy grail because this water is better than wine. It sucks in the drug and the color of the red amanita.
Another thing about it: The cap comes upwards separating what looks to be eves(under the cap, the ‘roof’) from the stalk. The stalk would be a symbol of the phallus. The cap is a symbol of the vagina when looking under it, and a breast when looking over it. So eve is separated from the side of adam.
Most of this information was found from the Pharmacratic Inquisition 2004 video.
So pretty much, these religious people were taking people’s money to use drugs, have orgies, and gaze at the stars. If you told your parents about this, they’d freak but alas ignorance feels so blissful.
Christmass for gift-giving is clearly about the personification of the sun. If the sun were a person, they’d give it all, versus a black-hole keeping in everything.
As for celebrating Christmas, everyone is saying that Christmas is for spending time with family. Well family for Teen Atheist doesn’t seem to want to be with her. So have fun clubbing. And to all those who say clubbing is quite bad, she’s right though sexy dancing is fun, get close but don’t end up getting um quite close ;), if you want to. Clubbing is not bad and having sex is sometimes not bad depending on who you are. Clubbing is the best thing to do. If someone wants to abstain from sex truly comfortably, they gotta confront it, laugh at it, and grab it by its haunches and hump it into submission.
Wow, my posts are always so long :\.
Thank you. 🙂 I just don’t want to be miserable on Christmas, even if my family wants me to be.
I’m not wohtry to be in the same forum. ROTFL
[…] brace myself for the worst, especially after facing rejection from my own family. I told her about getting kicked out of Christmas this year, and how I essentially lost a brother due to our differences in beliefs (he’s a […]
It seems wrong that people should judge you for being an atheist. I’ve been an atheist all my life and I still celebrate Christmas with all of my family. Thank goodness they don’t see that as a reason to judge me.
Christmas is, without a doubt, my favorite time of the year. There is no reason why atheists shouldn’t be able to enjoy the best of it too. But what the hell is up with all this “clubbing” on Christmas? Do you do that on Thanksgiving too? It seems like it would just take away from any experience on Christmas that you love – or maybe you just don’t like Christmas?
And just like I would not want them messing with my ideas (or lack of) about god, I am not going to try to mess up their Christmas day if it is important to them. (And I certainly wouldn’t want them messing up my Christmas day!!)
Besides that, though I don’t like religion in and of itself (and some of the problems it creates), it also does a lot of good things for people.
I just wish people would stop judging people for silly things like this.
Firstly, we don’t have any Thanksgiving here. Second of all, I actually like clubbing, so partying my heart out on Christmas Eve is my way of having fun despite rejection from the family. I love Christmas, and if I can’t spend it at home, then I will dance the night away.
Not that all atheists are expected to serve as walking public service announcements for freethought, but I have to wonder if there are other ways you could get back at your mother, while making a positive stand for atheism.
What kind of a statement would it make if you took the opportunity to volunteer for charity organizations on Christmas, feeding the homeless or something similar?
I’ll admit, getting drunk and having sex does sound like more fun — so what about giving free sex to the homeless? Consider your options here.
Oh, lawd. Volunteering for a charity organization is a great idea, but I’m far too self-centered and shallow to have sex with homeless people. Like, eww.
[…] the way, I got the awesome idea to do volunteer work from Sexy Secularist. Again, though, I really can’t find an org that needs help on Christmas Eve. I contacted the […]
Oooh, I swear. As a fellow Teen Atheist (14, baby!) my Dad’s pulled the same thing on me. Ya know, “I guess you’re only an Atheist when you want to be” and “Nyah Nyah, Atheists don’t get Christmas”. I love my dad, but he can be such a…Christian. Good thing I’ve got my Atheist mom, or I’ll go NUTS.
Hope your Christmas went well, though.
It was okay. 🙂
I’m an atheist & I celebrate Christmas for the sake of commercialization.
Good. So do I.